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Letters to Our Family (October 2016)

Dear Black and Pink family,

Hello to all my sisters inside & outside those walls. My name is Michael AKA Mike Mike. I am a long time reader and will start writing more. You know I was not too big on Relationships while in Custody of NCDOC. They never really worked for some reason or another, But, when I left Avery Prison to go to Hornet for Dart Class I could not help but fall in love at first sight of this sexy one whose name is also Michael who goes by “Lakisha”. Little did I know he felt the same for me. So after being at hornet for a week I asked if he knew anyone willing to jump out the window and get into an intimate Relationship. Lakisha says “yeah, me.” for the next 3 months I forgot I was in prison. I’d wait at the Block at 3pm + wait for him to get out of the Barber School. In the mornings we’d walk together to class, on the weekends he’d play Ball + I’d work out then we’d spend the rest of the day hanging out, plus church on Sunday.

Well, as my class finished and his rolls on I tried to stay. Staff said no. So on January 24, 2016 I asked Lakisha to marry me. Yes, was the response, and with it came a silver ring. (Staff took it at the next camp). Well with any love story goes a sad ending. Jan 28th, 2016 I was put on the Grey Goose to go to “The Rock.” Needless to say I cried that morning because I could not give my love a goodbye hug or kiss. He was in the Block across from mine. I gave him my info as he done too. Needless to say no luck there. I been at the rock for 3 months now and now on Protective Custody trying to get away from here.

Lakisha, if you’re reading this, don’t cry, I’m coming home soon. I may not make it back to Hornet but I get out 7 months after you Boo-Boo. I wear a ring I got off the yard. I brought for 10 stamps. Engraved on it is † Eternal Love † which clarifies to everyone here, “Hands off I am spoken for.” To show my ever loving Support I got ⚣ tattooed on my Right side. One Black, one white for My Boo Boo Lakisha.

To Black and Pink family I love the Cards, Postcards and Letters on the Holidays. Thankyou ALL. Much Love your Brother,
Michael, NC AKA Mike Mike, NC

 

Hi Black and Pink,

I am writing to tell you all about my story and experiences of what I have faced in the streets along with being in prison and I apologize if this is not written correctly. I am a high school dropout and this my first time stepping out of the darkness to show myself to the world.

Anyways… Hello to those Black and Pink and to anyone that might be reading this. My name is David Lyons. I am a bi-sexual male, I am 24 years old, I will be 28 on November 17th of this year. I am from a little town called “Newark” located in Ohio. I am a proud bi-sexual county boy I think lol…

I am a registered sex offender, I caught the case in 2011 when I was lied to by a female that claimed she was 20 years old but was not. I got charged with a felony of the 4th degree and that charge was unlawful sexual conduct with a minor. I am a father of 3 possibly 4 children and their mothers refuse to allow me to be part of my children’s lives because I am a sex offender and they believe that it is a law I am allowed to be around my children with a sex offense.

I was sexually molested as a child and have hid that fact from everyone. I noticed I was a bisexual when I was age 13 but I hid my sexuality from then until last year when I decided to slowly come out about my sexuality to a small group of friends that I had but they ended up abandoning me shortly afterwards because they were “homo-phobes”.

I am currently in prison on my 3rd number because of making stupid choices and getting back on drugs. I’ll be honest, I really let myself go this time. I could hardly find a job. I was homeless and could not find a place to lay my head. I couldn’t even get any help from anyone. I can’t count on my family because they only care about their selves, my mother can’t and couldn’t help me because she is about to be homeless herself and she is now just got approved for SSI because she has to have multiple surgeries for her back. I felt and still somewhat feel like the world and is and was against me. I was denied of so many things because of me being a sex offender (although I know none would admit it on paper to cover their own butts) so I get depressed and just gave up and started using meth again.

I was staying with my cousin’s before the last time I got arrested. I got “rail-roaded” by the law and my own cousin’s wife. But when I finally was able to stay with my cousin, I had re-registered my new address with the sex offender registry detective. And while I was gone one day trying to find a job, the registry detective came to my cousin’s house and asked my cousin if I was living there and then pulled my cousins wife outside and asked the same thing and came to find out in my discovery she stated that I never lived there. She did not like that by then I also had drug addictions. So the detective asked me to report him a few days later in which I did because I had nothing to hide, I did nothing wrong.

Once I showed up and he asked me where I was living and I stated to him, “at my cousin’s house.” He stated that “No you don’t, I spoke with them, they say you have never lived at that residence.” I argued with him and told him that I did live there and even requested that I could prove to him that I lived there. So after a few months of arguing, he stated, “Well Mr. L–, I see too many inconsistencies with your story, so you’re under arrest.” So me being high on meth at that time, I panicked and took off running on foot because I didn’t want to lose my freedom for something I did not do. They just did not want to check to see if I was telling the truth. So upon running I collided with another detective and they finally arrested and jailed me. I was charged with a felony 3 escape, a felony 4 assault on a peace officer, and a felony 4 failure notify change of address. I was sentenced to 18 months and I’ve seen a couple of stories in your newspaper of people experiencing similar problems. So I figured I would put my story out there with you and all and I am open to any and all comments or suggestions. I hope to be able to be part of your fast-growing ad caring family. I hope to be able to a voice among the many for those of us facing problems like all of us. Thank you for your time and for listening.

With much love,
David L, OH

 

Hello family,

I have read about the abomination that occurred in Orlando’s Pulse club maybe six times so far and my soul aches so terribly that it is still difficult, even now, to formulate a coherent message without the urge to yell, scream, and gnash my teeth in rage and lamentation. I’m not at a loss for words, but rather my mental filter isn’t working quite right. I’ll start slow and simple, my name, for those who don’t know me, is Ti’Anna Analise Delarosa. I was born June 30, 1993. I’m 23, HIV positive, transgender, and am Creole.

Okay, now that I’ve calmed myself down some I’ll set to the point. I’m deeply affected and wounded by the events that took place. I know almost firsthand how horrible the immigration laws are, having made the acquaintance of many amazing men of Puerto Rican, Mexican, Honduran, and Guatemalan descent and having been in a county jail where out of the 8 pods, 7 were for immigration and overcapacity and being emptied and refilled/overfilled every day. They are treated in a contradictory manner: 99% of the materials in the law library are en Espanol or all about immigration/deportation laws, which blatantly says they are top priority, while they are housed in overcrowded, unpleasant, and altogether unsanitary pods, leaving the message that “non-Americans” (in the words of racists and bigots) are less than beasts in their eyes.

I’ve also experience homophobia firsthand. My father was a heavy-handed alcoholic gay basher. Suffice it to say 2008 to 2012 were NOT my best years. Here is what I really want to talk about: since first reading the article about Pulse’s Latinx night, I’ve been contemplating what I like to think of as my “counter attack”. My plan is to build/have built a large (aka MASSIVE) facility of 10 stories for the main targets of senseless brutality and bull schnozzle laws. I call it the “TPOC Rainbow Palace”. (TPOC = Truly People of Color) It will house a club on the first and second floor: a cafeteria on the 3rd, 4th and 5th floors; and housing on the 6th thru 10th floors. A few details: 4 queen-size bunk-beds per room; internet and Wi-Fi; 2 phones per room; intercom’ emergency call buttons’ interpreters/translators; each window will be 3 layers of 2-inch thickness of bulletproof glass-shatter proof glass-crystal mixture; the exterior walls will be 8-inch thick titanium-steel-iron alloy sheets to promote bullet proof metal-style resistance; metal detectors and super heavy security.

It’ll take me close to about 18 months to gather the appropriate funds in surplus of what is needed for construction, wiring, plumbing, etc. and get the initial structure built to the 6th maybe 7th floor. I am a financial genius (self-proclaimed and titled by others). I actually have a plan of accumulating the funds with very little financial support (loans, etc.) that will place me in Bill Gates’ seat in a timely fashion.

Back to the point. The TPOC Rainbow Palace is intended as a safe haven for LGBTQ and TPOC. The housing is intended exclusively for LGBTQ immigrants, TPOC immigrants and TPOC LGBTQ who either have no home, can no longer afford their home, wish to leave their home or are afraid to have one. There will be space reserved for those who don’t fall in the above stated categories, though they are not my top priority. My main worry is the LGBTQ immigrant community, TPOC immigrant community, TPOC LGBTQ immigrant community, and the TPOC LGBTQ community. That doesn’t mean others are not important to me, they just aren’t my main concern. They’re not being senselessly murdered and/or deported. One of the main objectives of the TPOC Rainbow Palace is to help shelter those considered to be immigrants (though this county was founded by immigrant who enslaved immigrants and made laws to keep other immigrants from following them on more righteous paths and for better reasons than to rebel against their home because they were self-centered, self-serving, greedy, lazy, undeserving, arrogant, deceitful, and outright cowardly flurps and ninnies. I’m not racist. I’m just highly prejudiced against the stupid people who did the stupid things that lead to the even more heinously stupid things that are happening now! Rant over.) and also to help them gain citizenship and temporary student visas and green cards so that the highly ignorant government can’t send them away or hurt them anymore.

My question is this: who is going to join me? I’m going home in a little less than 12 months and when I touch down, I’m setting this plan in motion. I’m not scared to admit I’m going to need a lot of help. I’m only one woman you know. I need to know that I’m not doing this alone and that we deserve this. The sad truth is that so many people are willing to march and rally and protest and write letters, but when it comes time to physically sacrifice oneself: time, money, energy: working, building, laboring, sweating and even bleeding (work does that to people, believe it or not). About ½ to 1/3 of those speaking up actually act out. I’ve seen it in here prison-side. Everybody complains, but only 3 out of 50 (there 2,100 inmates here) people will peak up and act out. Here’s the thing: I’m a born warrior, I know how to battle, survive and WIN. What I’m planning will put a huge target on my head. I’m ready for it. I’ve been raped, beaten, gay bashed, jumped twice, contracted HIV (4 years ago), survived jumping off of a car, and multiple suicide attempts. I welcome death at every turn, we play the game of Life every Friday and chess every Tuesday. As you can see, I haven’t lost. I truly think I’m going to live to be a 120-year-old crone mother. (Great!  … NOT!) If I do I’ll love ever millisecond.

In the case of the TPOC Rainbow Palace (I love that name  ), a great many feathers will be ruffled and a war will be waged. In the end, purple wings and pink flames with black swords and periwinkle halos will fill the sky. Rainbows will be seen all over the world and techno music will rain from heavens. Translation: WE WILL BE VICTORIOUS! If you wish to be apart for that which is being planned or have suggestions, drop a couple hints to me via your poems and letters to Black & Pink if they’ll be a good sport about it. Keywords: #RAINBOWREVOLUTION, #TRP (which is the palace I mentioned), and #RAISETHEPULSE. BTW: I just want to say that Trump can kiss my purple wings, periwinkle halo and sit on my pink tail. The guy’s a jerk and a rich jerk at that. I KNOW we can do butter. I was born and raised a southern Bayou Belle and in my family, every person is loved. Has a home, and has a family, whether blood or not, undocumented, citizen, interplanetary, or multidimensional doesn’t matter. You are LOVED and you are FAMILY-PERIOD. God bless you, blessed be, Goddess keep you, and my love engulf you. Peace, Blessings and

Love,
Tianna D. “Mommy T” IL

 

 

Hey all you fabulous Divas, Dykes, T-Girls, & Studs!!! This is your sister <Ms. Jayde Moonshadow> and I wanna send a shout-out to all my totally fantabulous fellow “T-girls!” Hay ya’ll!!!

I also want to embrace all the recent additions to our “family.” It takes an unimaginable amount of bravery & courage to be all that we are; despite the fact that in doing so, we often are rejected/ridiculed by the very ones we hope will accept & love us (for being us/as we’re meant to be).

I, myself, have had a lot of trouble with this. I am totally “out” (& proud of it), and have been for a while now. However, I’ve lost a lot of those I’d thought were “friends”, simply because they were not able/willing to accept me as I truly am (as a trans-woman).

Those of “us” that’ve experienced this first-hand, are fully aware how “traumatic” these losses are/can be.

That’s why I’m a very firm believer in “HOPE;” hope that I’m strong enough to make it each day, hope that I am being true to myself, hope that I am always there for those who need me, hope that each new day is a bit better than yesterday, and hope that we will all be accepted & loved for being the way we choose to be…>

Speaking of “Hope,” I’m very hopeful that I will get a positive ruling from the “courts.” I’m fighting for a “legal name change,” a “bra (female undergarments),” and “electrolysis/laser hair removal.”

I finally got approval for the “hormones” (in May/2015) and am making steady progress in that area. Though, I’m still absolutely clueless. as to how to measure my “cup/breast-size!” Does anyone know how to do this?! Unbelievably, there’s not one female staff/doctor/nurse that’s willing to tell me how it’s done, like I’m some creepy-ass freak for asking…>!!!

Well, before closing this out, I want to give a loving shout-out to the following “family” members: to L’Don Rose (in CA), all my love & hugs (keep fightin’ girl, I’m right here with ya, honey); to “A.J.O” (in CA), hang in there sweetie. I know it’s lonely and hard, but I love you and accept you for the glorious & perfectly awesome person you are!; to Robin (in Las Vegas, NV) I love your spunky-style/philosophy about all these hater-ass fools! Haters gonna hate, while lovers stay lovin’!!!; to Lexi T. (in MA), I love that you wrote about “making a difference,” not “being different!” Stay strong and know that life is always worth living, no matter how difficult the path laid-out before us is!; and finally to Cassie (in TX), keep being true to yourself girl! You’re so brave and deserving of acceptance <no matter what your chances are in life>!

Lastly, I want to send my love & adoration to “Luna Umbra” (in MA); you’re my light in this dark & lonely world! Thanks for being a “True Friend!” All my love and hugs, cutie!!!

Stay strong, united, and loving always,
Ms. Jayde, CO
(<3 “kisses” ya’ll)

 

 

I write to my GLBT family because I have nowhere else to turn to. I am housed in the Bible belt of West Texas, arguably the most anti-gay place on Earth. For 4 years, I have endured TDJC’s practices of hyper-surveillance and targeting of homosexuals. I really hate that the system focuses more on me writing kites to my partner than all the violence/extortion.

For over a year my partner Shane “Loose Screw” and I have been madly in love. We enjoyed life, supported/encouraged each other, etc. Then one day, out of nowhere, we get a “lover’s interest” flag put on us. We were moved apart from each other. This is 2016! “Homosexual conduct” is no longer against the law, there is nation-wide same sex marriage, and “don’t ask/don’t tell” was abolished. However, TDCJ doesn’t keep up with the times & still has homophobic disciplinary rules. You would think the system would encourage peer-to-peer support. The need to feel loved, wanted, and appreciated is a basic human need. Denying us meaningful relationships hurts our rehabilitation! Love gives us a purpose. And with purpose comes goals and aspirations, I know personally, I feel calloused and bitter that TDCJ has stripped me of my joy by moving my partner.

Screw, if you are reading this, I love you. “Till the wheels fall off.”

B&P family in TX – my heart is with you.
Eric “Angel” (aka YOLO), TX

 

 

 

Hello, Black and Pink family,

This is my first letter to the family, but surely won’t be the last. I just wanted to take time out and send love to this family that has given me strength and power in the recent years of my life. My name is Brandon, and I am a 29-year-old bisexual male from Missouri. I am currently serving time in the Federal Bureau of Prisons. I’ve been down for over six years.

I have been involved in same sex relationships since I was 14, however I’ve only been open about it for about 4 years. Up until recently, I have always been afraid of being who I truly wanted to be mostly out of fear of what my mother and two brothers would think of me. Father was never around, so mama worked extra hard to provide for her three boys. I didn’t want to hurt her by letting her down despite her doing her best, her son still turned out gay. I didn’t know how to tell my little brother who looked up to me so much the I wasn’t the idol he thought I was, or how to tell my big brother that his little brother (me) has sexual experiences with other men. I couldn’t bring myself to hurt my family like that. So, I continued living a lie. I would be in relationships with women when I’m thinking about, dreaming about being with a man. I would hang out on the block with the fellas, wishing I was up the street at my “play sister’s” slumber party. I lived this lie until it eventually landed me in prison.

I was still hiding who I was when I first came into the system out of fear of being taken advantage of. Then one day, a friend of mine who also happens to be gay, approached me on the yard and said “check this out” while handing me a newspaper. I waited to get back to my cell during count before I opened up the newspaper and started reading. At first, I thought “this some type of scheme to get gay people to spend money”. Then I continued to read. Not only was this paper free, it was filled with stories and articles of people that fared the same adversities I faced as a gay male. I was thunder struck! Never in a million years did I imagine that there could be such a large group of people that not only understood my problems but have lived and overcame them. I immediately subscribed to Black and Pink that very same day, and started receiving this wonderful blessing of a paper shortly after.

After receiving Black and Pink for about a year, and witnessing all our family members come together and help each other live our lives in peace and happiness, through positive words of encouragement, consistent dispersing of useful resources, and honest, non-judgmental feedback between one another, I made the decision to come out.

So, I asked my mama and brothers to come up to visit. During that visit, through many tears and emotional despair, I poured my heart out to my family. I told them of my sexuality and how sorry I was for keeping it from them all this time, my mother grabbed my hand and through teary eyes stated “Brandon, you are my son, and there is absolutely nothing you can do that will change or take away the love I have for you.” My little brother hugged me and said “big bro, this just made me look up to you even more,” my big brother also hugged me and said “I love you little bro, and you got my 100% support…but don’t think I hooking you up with any of my homies (lol).” I will remember that moment for the rest of my life. I’ve never felt so alive…I’ve never felt so loved…I’ve never felt so free.

I wanted to share that special moment with this Black and Pink family because I was through you all…the love, the support, the unity, and the understanding that I found the courage to be who I am today. A proud gay man, full of love and joy from the bottom of my heart…I thank you, and I wish everyone under this magnificent rainbow…love, peace and happiness…

Your brother,
Brandon, IL

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